I am NOT a perfectionist!
/Recently I was asked to define myself and I started to list:
Woman
Bubbly
Powerful
Sexy
Energetic
Inspiring
Motivating
Single
American
Dancer
Coach
Instructor
....then stop at the word Perfectionist
I don't know why, but the word "Perfectionist" simply didn't sit well in my gut anyone and made me stop my list in its tracks. Searching for the true definition I found "a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection." Now that just seems like a huge burden to put on yourself. Who is to say what really is perfection and who is the one to set that high standard to aspire to? The more I thought about it, the more the term seemed to be geared towards a clutch and defense mechanism. Leading to if you aren't always striving to be flawless and perform to the utmost highest standard you are setting this unrealistic standard to than, you are failing.
GOSH, that simply has a crazy amount of anxiety written all over it... Not to mention, extremely stressful as you are constantly in competition to exceed this standard level and then forcing you to distract yourself from truly giving your full attention to the matter at hand since you are overwhelmed. Your focus gets redirected and your energy gets displaced towards negative outlets. Believe it or not, negative energy is more draining than positive. When you are providing uplifting endorphins you are fueling your body to be calm, relaxed, and at ease. When you focus on the negative you are creating this thick fog that pushes through so hard there is no room for anything but that negativity.
Your creativity is truly out the window and cripples yourself in only focusing on making it the "BEST" than giving yourself a fair chance to let your light shine out. It is an approval factor and a deeply rooted fear or insecurity you have within. Think about it, how have you ever not done something because you were worried it wasn't "perfect" or that if it wasn't done a certain way you would set yourself up for failure?
Ever not apply for a job because you felt you didn't have all the skills? Ever not leave a job because you didn't have the perfect plan in place? Ever not pitch a new idea because it was outside the box? Ever not wear an outfit because it wasn't in style? Ever not try something new because you had no experience in it? Not show up to an audition because you felt your audition piece wasn't ready? Decided not to move because the timing wasn't right?...the list continues!
How can you expect big rewards if you don't take risks? None of us were born with skills we have to create and earn them! In reality, we are not perfect and we make mistakes. The mistakes are what helps us to learn and grow. If we are so focused on being "perfect" how can we ever move past the humb to reaching for our true greatest selves? Eventually, if you don't come to terms with changing your mindset you may not take on risks to further your success because you rob yourself in thinking if I can't do it "perfect" then why even bother in the first place?
I feel it is so important to let go of the fear of rejection with first and foremost the valuation by others. Why are you letting someone dictate how you put yourself out there in the world? Next, the top priority, you need to let go of the daunting fear within yourself. It is ok to fall, mess up, and make mistakes! What really matters is how you move forward as a result. Do you let it defeat you and crawl into a shell of emotions OR dust yourself off with your head held high, nothing you can overcome anything you set your mind to!
As a dance and fitness instructor, when I first started teaching I thought I needed to nail everything and if it wasn't perfect no one would want to come to my classes. That was short-lived the second I taught my first class! No one wants a robot programmed teacher with no personality and passion who gets everything spot on. They want to see that you are human, humble, and that you are relatable! Heck I trip, I fall, I forget and have moments but that is what makes me a great instructor! I come prepared and trust that my body will guide me to lead an AMAZING class! Things happen and have then happened! Power outages, a speaker blows, and/or music not working which are uncontrollable, but how I react to those matters is what truly sets me apart from the rest. Those are the moments where I can prevail!
We need to remove the conditions that a perfectionist puts into this world! For example, if you do everything perfectly then people will like you. Reality not everyone is going to like you and you are not everyone's cup of tea which is OK! If you put your genuine authentic self into this world and give it your best effort, then the right people will come for YOU. You are what you put into the universe!
Flipside, the mind over matter mentality. If you believe you are a failure, then you will fail! On the other end, if you believe you can do anything and nothing can stop you then truly nothing will stop you! A positive mind equals a positive outcome always!
The take from this post, it is time to let go of old mentalities and start plugging in characteristics that don't hold you back. I want you to take a second to think of what are the traits that define you and see if you can put at least one positive notion behind to support why you feel it represents you. If there is a negative influence, think to yourself why and how can I move away from that reflection? This is the change and the change starts with you!
I stand her take proudly stating that I am NOT a perfectionist and will no longer let it hold me back from my true purpose in life! Bring on the bumps in the road that shape my beautiful journey!
